I used to look forward to Friday night.. like literally so much that I would be feeling anxious from about lunchtime onwards until it became an acceptable time to crack open my first beer.
Now, I don’t look forward to Friday nights.. I LOVE THEM. I don’t have the anxiety anymore.. I’m not worried about when I can start, how much I should have or whether I’ll be fully functional on Saturday, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt a greater sense of relief IN.MY.LIFE.
They say that giving up drinking is hard.. but do you know what is actually hard? That internal struggle that you CONSTANTLY go through when you think you might have even a slight problem with alcohol, it’s literally like you’re living with a voice in each ear.. one saying NO you don’t need it & the other saying GO ON- you deserve it!!
Deserve what exactly? Deserve to dull your senses just a little bit? Deserve to intoxicate yourself so you end up making stupid decisions that you would normally make? Deserve to wake up tomorrow and berate yourself YET AGAIN because you wish you could JUST DRINK NORMALLY!!
What is drinking normally? Who defines that standard? Is there such a thing? Or is everyone just drinking the same poisonous substance which (I have now learned over my LONG SLOW journey) does not have any actual benefits??
If any of these things have ever crossed your mind, I would recommend 2 people you: Annie Grace and Allen Carr.. I think I first read Carr’s book a good couple of years ago.. I’ve read Annie’s twice now, and ONLY NOW are things finally starting to make sense in my head.. this is such a massive journey and I’ve called myself a looser so many times because I was just FAILING at it.. but I was so wrong.. I wasn’t failing, I was learning, I was testing assumptions to see if they were right.. I was taking two steps forward and then one step back.. and I probably still am… but forwards is the direction I am going!!